Cronus

(2019/2024)

i'd sage my room each time you left. 
i burnt it religiously with the intention
of ridding the air of you 
(though i had wept and begged you to stay)

you spoke in a honey tone 
i thought i’d never escape. 
i used sage
in hopes that it would grace me 
with some kind of peace
after you left.
however in lacking your own, 
you gorged on mine.
the Cronus of my young years,
you swallowed me whole 
until i had nothing more than an empty table.
it was an endless cycle that always seemed to surprise me.
you called me a murderer every time I cut my way out of you
though your teeth were much sharper than my knife.
so instead i burnt sage in your belly
in hopes the smoke would travel up your throat and trigger a sneeze.
i could escape that way. 
it worked for a time.

i’d let the smoke fall over my clothes 
hoping it would overpower your scent
over my skin
as i’d beg it to burn away your grip.
then i’d promise i’d leave you 
until you’d call later
and your voice would wrap around me 
silk like sheets. 
your apologies softened me for the slaughter.

i'd sage my room each time you left 
i burnt it religiously with the intention
of ridding the air of you, 
Cronus of my youth.
i’d fall asleep peacefully 
as if i had succeeded in defeating my demons 
only to invite you over again.